Anonymeme, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
copperbadge-style
Aug. 9th, 2005 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xturtleI loathe the idea of saying anonymous sweet/snarky/nasty things to my flist (mostly because y'all are the folks I turn to when Real People are being annoying), but I LOVE the idea of saying anonymous things about people who have NO IDEA that I maintain an online presence here. (A note to the few RL friends who read this LJ: yes, I know you're here. You have been deemed cool enough to know of my not-so-secret identity. Thus, you have not earned anonymous snarkery. Rejoice.)
1. Good god, woman, would you please stop eating all of the food in the house?
2. I lost touch with you three years ago because sticking around would have meant having my heart broken. There's no way I can be what you need, even if I think you might have been interested at some point. But oh, how I wish I had tried.
3. It's just sex. Also, just porn. Also, just gay. Also.... no, you know what? I'm sick of you being all tolerant of the abstract, then freaking out at the specific. People fuck. They look at porn. The sometimes look at gay porn or even have gay sex. And sometimes they hold hands while walking down the street with their gay sex partner, and even kiss said partner. I've watched you hold hands with and kiss your partner countless times without ranting about PDAs even though you know I dislike them, so STFU and stop being hypocritical.
4. OMG JUST FUCKING STOP I AM NOT GOING TO KISS GIRLS FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT! Nor will I make out with you for your entertainment! My lips were put on this earth for MY entertainment, and that is the ONLY consideration that will determine their use.
5. I've never met someone so non-judgemental and forthright. The question you asked on sunday was so very cute, and was suprisingly the first time anyone had posed it.
6. Please stop trying to get a reaction out of me. The more gossip you tell me, the more determined I become to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary. I know that as soon as I freak out, you'll run off and tell someone that I'm mad at whoever your latest victim is.
7. I. Don't. Care. Stop leaving the room when we're the only two people in it. I'm not gonna yell at you. I am not hiding any massive indignation. I was pissed off. I wisely did not contact you while I was pissed off. I'm not pissed any more. Could we please table this? I've a yen to wildly disagree with you about another movie, but to catch a flick requires co-existing for a couple of hours.
8. I don't like you. But if you make my friend happy, we're cool. If you pull the two-faced act again, I'm handing out tickets to those on line to kick your ass.
9. Здрвствыте, красивый малчик. I miss you (and your scary Russian pick-up lines) immensely.
10. It's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!
Er, yeah. I ran out of steam at the end there. I actually say number ten to her all the time. But overall that was quite theraputic.
1. Good god, woman, would you please stop eating all of the food in the house?
2. I lost touch with you three years ago because sticking around would have meant having my heart broken. There's no way I can be what you need, even if I think you might have been interested at some point. But oh, how I wish I had tried.
3. It's just sex. Also, just porn. Also, just gay. Also.... no, you know what? I'm sick of you being all tolerant of the abstract, then freaking out at the specific. People fuck. They look at porn. The sometimes look at gay porn or even have gay sex. And sometimes they hold hands while walking down the street with their gay sex partner, and even kiss said partner. I've watched you hold hands with and kiss your partner countless times without ranting about PDAs even though you know I dislike them, so STFU and stop being hypocritical.
4. OMG JUST FUCKING STOP I AM NOT GOING TO KISS GIRLS FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT! Nor will I make out with you for your entertainment! My lips were put on this earth for MY entertainment, and that is the ONLY consideration that will determine their use.
5. I've never met someone so non-judgemental and forthright. The question you asked on sunday was so very cute, and was suprisingly the first time anyone had posed it.
6. Please stop trying to get a reaction out of me. The more gossip you tell me, the more determined I become to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary. I know that as soon as I freak out, you'll run off and tell someone that I'm mad at whoever your latest victim is.
7. I. Don't. Care. Stop leaving the room when we're the only two people in it. I'm not gonna yell at you. I am not hiding any massive indignation. I was pissed off. I wisely did not contact you while I was pissed off. I'm not pissed any more. Could we please table this? I've a yen to wildly disagree with you about another movie, but to catch a flick requires co-existing for a couple of hours.
8. I don't like you. But if you make my friend happy, we're cool. If you pull the two-faced act again, I'm handing out tickets to those on line to kick your ass.
9. Здрвствыте, красивый малчик. I miss you (and your scary Russian pick-up lines) immensely.
10. It's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!
Er, yeah. I ran out of steam at the end there. I actually say number ten to her all the time. But overall that was quite theraputic.
